A Letter From the Past

We have had a very, very busy week when it comes to the wedding. Well, overall, but wedding stuff has been full speed ahead for the last week or 10 days.
Last weekend I was in Atlanta at a flower show, where I got a lot done, and found a lot of inspiration. I took projects with me for downtime, and actually worked on making favors, and started work on the invitations. Just wait - once you see them you'll understand why this was no easy task. As I was hanging out at this flower show for 4+ days, I saw a lot of flowers (duh), got a lot of advice from garden experts, and flipped through about a bazillion books. One particular book had pictures of arrangements, bouquets, and boutteniers that I liked so much, I actually took photos of the pages. Yes, at this point, I am that cheap that I snuck around shooting the pages rather than purchase the book... I also got a sense of what flowers I *don't* want for the wedding - either because they didn't hold up well out of water, would have to be flown in from somewhere far, far away (not very environmentally responsible - I wouldn't be able to sleep at night), or once they were made into an arrangement they looked just plain gawdy. It really was quite helpful and somewhat eased a bit of my anxiety.
Gary and I met at the jeweler one afternoon this week and saw our rings. We tried them on, but for insurance reasons (please read "Terror and Insurance" if you have not already), they are still in the jeweler's safe, not in our safety deposit box. But we did try them on and see how they look on us. I am trying not to think too much about it. It made me a little excited.
We also made an appointment for our wine tasting and scheduled our cake tasting. That we will be doing while Gary's Mom is here - something fun she can be involved in, and she can help make some crucial decisions. And besides, as the pastry shop is called where we're going, who doesn't love cake? (At least I think that's the name. It's close.)
The other week I found a song that I felt was perfect, just perfect, for the processional. It's sung by one of our favorite singers, someone who we've seen in concert several times. It's in Italian and has a lot of violin, two things I absolutely adore, and based on the English translation, it's about two people who couldn't be together but now they can finally celebrate their love -- and at the time I had Obama on the brain, as well as a little Abraham Lincoln, and the song really touched me. Just 40 years ago we couldn't have married each other. I am so grateful that people were and are willing to stand up for what's right in this great nation, regardless of what's law, regardless of what's "acceptable", and make change happen. God bless those who aren't afraid to fight to make life better for all other people.
So anyway, I was all excited about this song. Had just about every step down the "aisle" planned out. And then Gary burst my bubble. And crushed my dream. The song is actually "A Time for Us" - the 1968 theme to Romeo & Juliet. I got a "D" in Shakespeare, but I know that's not a good thing. Dammit.
Tomorrow we're going to look at ties and cufflinks. Monday morning we're having breakfast with an officiant-candidate. Yesterday I pulled a box out of the garage of old cards and letters and other treasures I've kept for the last many years. I am hoping there is something in that box that will help me write my vows.
But before I found that inspiration, under deflated balloons from birthdays gone by, placemats from theme-night dinners, and lyrics to my favorite love songs, I discovered a letter from the past. It's actually an email conversation between me and Jacey Eckhart, a sometimes-marriage and family-columnist for the Virginian-Pilot. It was written the week of Valentine's Day, years ago, but I'm not sure how many, there's no date on it. Here is an excerpt of what I said to her in response to a column about what women want for said mall-holiday:
"...why do [these articles] seem to be just about what men get women? I am racking my brain so much about what to get him, that what he's getting me isn't even crossing my mind. This is a mall-iday in celebration of love, and our relationship is *ours*, not just mine... Not once in columns about Valentine's Day this year have I seen anything to speak of regarding what *he*wants."
"...I am lucky, blessed, and thankful that I have a boyfriend that knows me well and takes the time to *think* about what I like and would want."
"When is someone going to point out that it's not about chocolate (= guilt) or 'romantic' silky outfits (= one night of lust)? Real romance is taking the time to think about what's important to your sweetie, what makes them feel good, what they enjoy, what makes them feel pampered... All we really want is for men to think about what would make us feel special. Take the time, use the energy, get creative, and we'll do the same for them."
Her response to me:
"I predict good things for this relationship. Not only do you know each other well enough to navigate the tricky waters of V-day, but you are already talking about it. I can't tell you how many years of conversations we had to have about V-day before we got it exactly right. You are way ahead of the curve."
Wow. That made me feel really good - then and now. Made me feel good that she said those things, but moreso that Gary's even so much more thoughtful and romantic and creative as the years go by. I am indeed the luckiest girl in the world.
...And now, off to the symphony with the man who undoubtedly will be the hottest one there. And then we'll come home, I'll settle into bed, and then stay awake all night worrying about what I'm going to get him for Valentine's Day...