Up-do, Make Up, and Porn

Bartlet and I are alone for the weekend. Gary has gone to DC to visit his sons. Oh yeah, and to be there and witness the swearing in of the 44th President of the United States with millions of his closest friends. While I am truly disappointed to not be there also, it just didn't work out for me to join him. (And I trust he'll get me a sophisticated yet understated commemorative T-shirt when he purchases one for our friend Justice.) So while Gary and Craig and Mark have an historic ("an", not "a") weekend full of male-bonding, Bartlet and I are doing bride-to-be stuff. And Bartlet's thrilled about it. He'd tell you himself, but he's sleeping. And he can't type because he doesn't have opposable thumbs.
So it's 6:00 and I'm in my pajamas already and there's a (really pathetic) fire in the fireplace. The B2B day started with the afternoon off from work. At 12:30 I went to Salon Xanadoo and met with Lindsey. I'm told she's the best "special occasion hair designer" around. At least that's what Wayne-John at the front desk told me. I really went there because I wanted Russell Kern to do my hair - Gary and I met Russell and his partner Cliff at an AIDS Alabama benefit auction and casino night gala thing. We had a blast with them and it turns out Russell is great with curly hair. But of course by the time I got around to calling him, he had stopped doing hair and no longer works there. So I met with Lindsey.
Before I even sat down I fanned out the 75 pictures I'd brought with me - all ripped out from bridal magazines. (See "Bridal Overdose" for more on my obsession with bridal magazines.) When I showed her the one I really liked the most, I told her that - and added, "but I want it to look like MY hair." She said, "sit down. I can do that." Really? No one in my entire life has ever been able to make my hair look anything like anyone else's style. In fact, rarely do I leave the chair not in tears. Which is why I never get my hair cut. The last time was 2 years ago. Seriously.
I sat down and she started playing with my hair, and - whoo hoo! - she wasn't like all the other hair people at all - she didn't do everything she could to mess up the curl pattern and make it fuzzy. I was amazed. After 5 minutes of trying to get bobby pins to stay in, she decided to try a rubber band instead. Never in almost 37 years have I EVER been able to put a rubber band in my hair. They snap before I can get them around this wild mane. It's been 5 hours and it's still in, by the way. So she banded and bobby pinned and told me where she'd flatten and where she'd make a little place for my veil. That would be the veil I wasn't positive I'd be wearing until Lindsey told me she'd make a little place for it to sit. And she told me where she'd need to tease. Tease. My hair.
Later I was thinking about that, and I'm quite certain the last time I teased my hair I was getting ready for a Roosevelt High School dance with Nikki Hardy and Becky Finley in a cigarette smoke and Aqua Net-filled bathroom and we were wearing jelly bracelets up to our elbows and some sort of boots with buckles with a skirt and something probably fishnet or at least with the knees ripped out. And either Prince or Madonna was on the radio. Or did we still have vinyl then? Most likely a cassette tape. So anyway...
Before I left I made an appointment for August to do a real dress rehearsal of the half I-do-Up-do. And she's only charging me half the real cost because apparently thick, curly, dirty hair is the absolute best for the I-do-Up-do. BUT -- you know how I keep preaching about how much cheaper it is to get married on a Sunday? Not this time. Because she'll have to come to me to do my hair that day, it's gonna cost me FOUR TIMES as much. That's the first thing I've come across in all this planning where it's more expensive.
With my rubber band and bobby pins still firmly planted in my hair, I went to Ulta and played with make up. I'm a hardcore Bare Escentuals fan, but I actually went Urban Decay today, mostly because there was a representative there to play with make up with me, but also because I was feeling a little freakish.
(THANK YOU, Jackie for my gift card!!! It was spent wisely - or at least on something I really needed/wanted!)
So now I'm home and we're on to the porn part of this blog. Just to clear things up off the bat (for my future mother-in-law) we're talking *wedding porn*. It's a big part of my new favorite wedsite offbeatbride.com. It's a gallery of dozens of offbeat brides' wedding photos, complete with commentary for ideas to steal. I believe it's more satisfying and addictive than naked dirty pictures anyday.
Well, most days. ;)
Tonight's plan is to get this fire going again, put on some sexy music, and settle back on the couch and surf for porn...